TIME AFTER TIME
YOU REALISE YOU DON'T MEAN IT.

today i had a NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE (NDE). and like all NDEs should be, it was an Awfully (pun intended) enlightening one. i've learnt that i can never ever be aneroxic. people who know me would know i eat every 4hrs. i don't eat huge portions, cos i get sick of the same food easily. so when i was unable to eat for 6hrs due to overworking, i sat on the bus reeling from a giddy head and nauseaus tummy, and all my feeble legs could carry was the short distance frm the bus stop to my doorstep. i was completely incapable of meeting anyone for supper (sorry, k) or even walking to the nearest fast food chain 5 mins away from my house. so a wave of relief swept over me when mommy called to tell me she can ONLY cook maggi mee for me. ONLY?!?!? i was more than elated to devour the entire packet of mee, (along with 2 apples and 2 cups of green tea) though usually i can only finish half a packet cos i'd get really sick of it. i don't even remember tasting it at all, just concentrated on getting the whole bowl down my gullet as fast and furiously as i could. so yes, nicole richie, i would really like to be as skinny as you but my sole attempt has strongly hinted that i have no such willpower nor impetus, despite stretching my limits to greater heights.

eeps, i would never want to be at such a state of starvation ever again !!!!!

and by the way, a quarter of a 3D 15cm-diameter chocolate boob is all that is needed to create my new aversion to chocolate and cream, previously thought to be almost a staple. now the mere thought of it makes me wanna BARF.

my poor tummy has gone through a lot indeed in this short NDE of mine.

anyway, on less morbid moments..

we Y mocha and pink tiles!


and we also Y circles! (pls ignore intense holey area braces to the rescue soon)


don't be deceived by my apprehensive face. i was reticent to take a shot, not at the fooddddd. banana choc cupcake w nutella was HEAVENLY (tho right now, i reitarate my serious aversion to chocolate hence the sudden appropriateness of the eeps face)

gasp! is it possible? huiyi even smaller than her usual tiny frame!

after scaling mountains and hills and feeling all touristy and adventurousy,

i arrived in a white pony! (yea, right)


here we are, our dreamy bookland where we wandered in awe..


while i was busy reading off the wall,


huiyi found some self-identification, which we will all nod gravely to in agreement..

it says 'how to cook a wolf' &hwee has her cutlery all ready.. hahah..

venturing further..


something catches my eye!


peering peering..

lemme in!!
prison break madness aside, there was also moon gazing..


you can't see it but there it was, a moon shining brightly in the day
then we also spotted a lil kitty (sorry for bad visuals but i'm lazy to rotate it)


so we decided it needed some company


but miao!! it looks away! act dao!

-

spoke too soon, so much for unmorbid thoughts.
everyone's leaving..
i'm gonna miss this girl

brightly wound says:
youre gna be too cool for me
overlapping melodies says:
NO MAN
overlapping melodies says:
YOURE MY SISTER AND YOULL ALWAYS BE

>:c

/the wreckers; lay me down

YOUR TIME IS OVER, GOODNIGHT.

today i am reminded again as to why i love Ichiban Sushi.. and how pumpkin goes well with egg, as good as salmon pairing up with cheese or asparagus.. at the end of the day food will always make my day. so if i haven't had a good day i'll be going home to hershey's cookies and cream or that entire neat compartment of rolling tiny red apples as i draw the fridge. it's that easy. or not, if my supply dwindles. so judging from that i guess today was kinda revivable..

@ toy museum, my fave was prolly erm, the hopskotch..


I put millions of miles Under my heels And still too close to you I feel, I am not your rolling wheels I am the highway I am not your carpet ride I am the sky I am not your blowing wind I am the lightning I am not your autumn moon I am the night

-

'narcissism is a condition defined mostly by disablingly low self-esteem, requiring the sufferer to seek almost constant recognition and reward.'

another word, another term, another issue that, like any other, reminds us there's always two sides to any story, a reason to fault and blame just like there's a reason for guilt, room for indifference as there is room for love (desp. housewife taught me that the opposite of love is not hatred but indifference.. ha ha..), but then again on another whole new dimension there is never black and white but the shades of grey and how everything goes down to a point of unending utter pointlessness..
..no i don't know what i'm rambling about

/la rocca; goodnight.

-

ouch.

CUT ME OUT OF HERE

-

tdy i made another 50bucks by doing hideous monthly job. all that smiling was killing me but alright shan't complain, it was only an hour;;
killer job #o2 tutoring the twins - Fern was singing (screaming) her school's camp songs loudly at the top of her lungs and refusing to listen to me as usual. post-camp blues..

and then i go and spend my money on a REALLY PRETTY and also REALLY HOLEY blouse. no it wasn't obscene in any way but some delusional fat ass prolly squeezed into S before me and ripped it but yes i bought it anyway. okayokay hyperbole.. i exaggerate. was a lil rip-a-tat.. but still.

my day with c, thus shall end off with something for her..

this is why sometimes some people can be excused for hating cats..
and choose to favour bunny lovess instead..
(i.e me.. no this ain't mine.. adorable aren't they..!)

ha ha.. don't kill me.

p.s DON'T ASK ME ABOUT UNI ADMISSIONS.

/strays don't sleep; for blue skies.

so i was imagining these cans with expiry dates and i can already picture all these faces plastered on each can, some expired, some nearing expiry. the travellator is going really fast and heading toward the bin
and i really don't know how to drink them all up in time..

so anyway
today was manymany eau de parfum (i Y issey miyake) &exploration day.. walked frm tg pagar to raffles by the night. saw manymany prettyyyy stuff (: piccas up soonn.

-

i don't know how much longer i can keep up with this.
now we can almost imagine why Veronika Decides to Die (though i still don't get why it's a happy ending.. it's not meant to be a fairytale is it..).

MONOLOGUE (i.e holding a conversation with self and no one else so don't bother reading if you are at all)

satisfied my random cravings of weekly sliced fish mee sua with egg (from ban mian stall..i find the authentic fish soup icky) from kf, mr bean greentea biscuit, papaya soymilk and soya icecream, fluffy bread with varied fillings, shihlin mushroom cheese crepe, cherry muffin, surprisingly springy la mian frm amk hub and crystal jade chewy redbean banana balls.. and i could just go on :D :D
you don't really want to know the span of this feat. i know i'm pretending i don't. thus the double :D
read in US Elle about why women like to narrate and recount in detail what goes in that tummy.. this is how a magazine can educate me about myself (just because Jessica Simpson is gracing the cover don't deem it a bimbo mag).. learn something new everyday don't we.

read chicklit (janegreen, ilove), watched chickflick (well, because i said so kinda belongs in that category doesnt it).. they really don't call em feel-good for no reason..

on movies, i loved

for the humour.

pilates and yogasana making me nauseated and tired.. MANY TIRED.. and wobbly legs too. picked up swimming recently too (i INSIST i am getting tanner you unobeservant people stop snortling at me!) evidently putting to rest childhood nightmares of boys in my swimming class kicking (literally shoving their feet into my face) ahead of me and misty goggles from teary eyes.. was quite a traumatising experience, swimming classes on Saturdays at age 9.. still vividly remember praying for rain as i dreadfully pulled up the elastic straps of my swimming costume (yes in those days i would consider a bikini indecent)..

speaking of trauma.. on the VT massacre.. it's brutal, it's tragic. there's understandable contempt, there's disgust, there's blame, but how come all the reports i've skimmed failed to mention how the gunman, student, son, brother, boy, culpable for this is doing right now.. or if anything was done to find where those hateful creative writings of his stemmed and bred from.. or why people gave up on him.. or why he was the way he was at all.. or maybe my skimming proved to be bad reading..
it's sad though.. the extent gone through to throttle issues into light.. though the real issues seemed to be conveniently dodged and instead limelight's on racism and all.. but what about prevention instead of consequences..
okay maybe this is a sign i'm watching too much OTH haha..

and by the way pls stop harping on university admissions. it's giving me a nervous breakdown. ive selectively chosen to believe steph is right and the postmen around here are lazy (no offense).

SIGH. :c

/la rocca; non believer
goldspot; float on
the perishers; my heart.

FEELIN BLU.

just realised i bought like 3 blue tops over the past 2 days.

BEHIND ME

i hear me laughing at me.

NO I CAN'T STAND YOU NOW

few days of frenzy started with

the longlost culprits (we all look really weird here)

hilarious.

(piccas courtesy of syl whom i thieved from :)

RANDOM.
<3tauhuay>

more this june pleaseeeee reality alone here.. pull the trigger.

-

last night @arab was HILARIOUS. sneakin bombs frm singaporepower and suspicious saliva. :O nettos, love our flea buys HUH. (but i <3>

/ the hush sound; you are the moon.

p.s revival due to the fact that i just installed the new hyper sensitive mouse (no yellow but blue mouse!)

void, void Y

I thought the world was round
looking closely I have found
it’s a messed up ball of jagged edges
I thought if I believed,
it'd turn into reality
stupid me I thought the world was round

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

#o1. disappeared.

#o2. changed.

#o3. silence.

#o4. unprioritised.

&me, im just drifting away.

taking sides,

i'm at the other end now.

Mood: too nua to be true.



straight line, baby, straight straight line.




STOP! (un)fair comparison
check out our skintones.


<
lazy is the new pale.

@Zouk.




FISHEYE FATNESS.




in comes the pay,
out for shoppingggg!

-


age matters.

i know how people feel about entries on girls feeling fat and all but
im going to have to do just that cos
today within a span of 16hrs,
i ate 2 slices of lettuce cheese tomato ham wholemeal bread with freshmilk
mixed rice
half a bowl of adam rd prawn mee
a scoop of awfully choc
a slice of chocolate bread
some sucky chocolate wafer stick
half a bowl of thai tom yam glass noodle
and continually scraped off 4 scoops of island creamery

so just skip this entry.


AHHHS.
fat face!!!!!!!!!

-

toomuch.

ripped off da

the truth is everyone is going to hurt you
you just have to decide who is worth the pain

look around and wonder where im at

"youre walking through a field all by yourself one day in spring and this sweet little bear cub with velvet fur and shiny little eyes comes walking along. and says to you 'hi there little lady. want to tumble with me?' so you and the bear cub spend the whole day in each others arms, tumbling down the clover-covered hill."

happy new year people..
so much for new beginnings..
too random an eve to be true.
but nevermind,
my new year officially begins only at 1230pm.

don't forget the new year resolutions.
and at no. 1o. keep to resolutions!

p.s im looking at my feet now and i believe they will really rot very soon.
so much for..(as what i recall..) massage by foot massage degree holder ._.

carcrashes.

was a tinkerbell/ ballerina turned into angel complete with halo and a dangling stolen snowflake to boot this christmas.
pictures up in next life as usual.

phuture-d again
absolute highness, am learning to control and thus was only at the verge of getting drunk
a skill we all ought to master!
feels good but..
was curtailed by a very pukey c
raced home with our stinky hair, skinnys and starving stomachs.

\\ the unexpected happens.
though i really cant make it out..still..

-


i thank God for elder sisters and their handy resume samples.

-


and then i remember i'll always never be like them
because girls like me take the last place.

FINALLY.

i'm so glad to be rid of it
the perpetual melancholy haunting me
away away
i'll never want to put myself in such a position ever.
thank you,
distant memory.
R.I.P.

another lesson learnt..
another story made up.

anyway my ears finally healed!
yayy
i imagined dark days of boring ears without the hint of glow from little studs,
(i know my hair covers them but i can tell the difference alright!! it's like wearing perfume; people can't really smell you but you know it all the same. it's a sort of unexplainable secret happiness.)
replaced by little men instead -think steph's horror story
and chatised myself for taking my earholes for granted
and tadah! mom to the rescue, calmly placing a tube of cream in my exasperated hands.




YY it's not much if anything.



vivian and i visited coach and katespade
omgness gorgeous stuffs
we lovelove
us brokebroke people.
we need our payyyyy

more pre christmas shopping w The Jiang Tzu ltrs.
(cbean! she always reminds me of kids pasta and salad. like wting reminds me of grntea frappe summer strawberry love and mandarin hotel)
haven't met up with many people in a longggg time..
:ccc


it's a doggy dayy


spot the differences (squatting position) /similarities (arm position)
+++p.s check out the foreground in the first shot. i feel like i was in one of those pictures for Chinese Oral Examinations in pri sch.
+++++p.p.s check out jiang's shirt. it looks like it has a life of its own dancing lines.

steph we ought to walk (carry, i mean) Megan again during our trips to petrol kiosk for our fave 6 pack Macademia Nut! lose some grams taking turns to carry her only to gain more after slumping on the couch after downing it all.


i never cease to amaze myself at how easy it is
when it comes to smiling at strangers..

maybe cos the whole point is they are strangers
putting up an act is easy peasy



@postprom
yea i realise you can't see half my face.

oh woe
i hate rainy days!!!!!


edit;; whaaaat. rachel bilson and adam brody broke up! i knew it. cute couples don't work out.

it seems.

7 months is a long time.



christmas shopping tmrw!
btw;; thanks for pres people, Y

more Y;;

(p.s check out how our legs jut out the same way!?!)

for now

+ earhole infection is killing me.
++ love steph's little bed that contains not so little us everytime, little speakers humming as we nap many a time, little cakes and food that make me not so little, little pup Megan that we absolutely love.
Ikea @Tampines was zz; too many grouchy ah mas and wailing kids and casualties. too many too manys.
i wanted chicken wings on top of meatballs and salmon but my fat face was screaming stopppp.
+++ darrenn eng doesn't know what's a cardi ._.

text messaging on the bus.

if i owned a kitten
i'd name it snuffles and call it my xiao sheng ming
and right now i'd be scratching it between its ears



(:

okay more birthday piccas to be up in my next next life.
18th was spent catching up with Sweet Steph (haha) then being blindfolded and deceived by pals so good at White Lies. soon after found myself feeding What Lies Beneath swans, revenging on Dua Boss, favouring asthamtic Mr. Snuffles, UNsexy shots during Twister.. then dark gray clouds hovered above my head and threatened to pour so in my dark mood i became a brat at the Village and i apologise my dears.

Y

sleepover at Nicole Love was.. healthy. sober sleepover was a first and we did 80 situps (albeit much screaming and cheering) and stretched like mad (insert the pulling and more screaming) but i swear her bedroom holds much sopoforic (sp) quality.. my eyelids grow so heavy everytime. or maybe it's the exercising this time.

Phuture and Breakfast @ Tiffany's next weds pls.
(p.s you said it's all a choice so i thought about it
and decided i couldn't choose..)

work tmrw till 11
kudos to late night shopping
d'oh, my feet, my poor feet.

i need shoppingg supper and stories

why, does it even matter anyways.

blueberry muffin and GREENTEA frappe please.

alright since people have been asking (and i don't exactly fancy soft toys),
bodyshop passion fruit/ strawberry body butter
darkred nail polish
mac (into the)black waterproof eyeliner
keratase hair serum (just lost mine GRRRRR)
lancome gentle eye
or jst whatev random cutesy cherubic stuff; notebooks rings blah (soft toys aren't exactly cute though)
or just a happy day
would be nice..
very price friendly, i mean, i don't suppose
dkny/ ck watch (not the box, dinah, thanks)
warehouse kimono print tube/ dress
blue uber faded/ grey skinnys (size 00/ 4)
coach wallet
katespade/ furla bag
lacoste paleblue polo (the soft one please)
would make it to the list, would they.
alright i think i'm pretty smart and secretly sly hehe!
okay cheap thrill,
very roll eyes.
&i realised prolly only c knows what exactly i'm talking about.

i knew it's a bad december.
like always..
forget december, it won't be better.

work's been better (hope i'm not jinxing it right this second)
the satisfaction of helping the smiling and grateful clueless father upon finding The Sparkly Purple Christmas Dress or the dazed mom unable to make up her mind which flower print skirt or snowflaked jeans to get, the fluster of finding the right size in the store so that they can return with bulging bags and not empty handed, the amusement over the wife tickled at hubby's inability to colour coordinate.
(:
(plus thanks, all who visited! appreciate the moments of respite..)

anyways post prom was like crap.
first stoned for a million lightyears before getting in
then who bursts into tears when she's high, really.
was as bad as last week's momo.
i need some redemption next weds pls!

afternoon after was good tho!
random painting nails/ oc/ prata/ towning then The Last Kiss.

random, but
i really feel like checking out the new Ikea store @Tampines!
amazing how i have a free shuttle from my house since forever
talk about procrastination..

piccas up when lazy people send me in my next life.

telescope eyes

my comp is in as good a mood as i am!
bought many happy things.. all i need is a trip to borders!
i swear cutting hair is therapeutic.. i feel so lightheaded i feel as though i could fly..



this is slow, but still Y nonetheless!

p.s WORK SUCKS. hate the effed up lianlians.

PISSED OFF IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT, MOM.

Y

it seems like yesterday
that my world fell from the sky

it seems like yesterday
i didn't know how hard i could cry

i feels like tomorrow
i may not get by.

-

DaDinah ; sorryyyyy ._.

Rouge madness with em both &belle
d'oh.

freda&i : we Y school.

nothing in this world

is reciprocated,
like how i showered undying attention for Math but it/he/she failed me
but of course it's not just Math here that i love but
also them, whom i shall not reciprocated
and of course them whom i was not.

why i go to school partI



they won't see us waving from such great heights
come down now, they'll say.
but everything looks perfect from far away
come down now, but we'll stay.

/not gonna ask any promises from you anymore.

HAPPY 18TH TINGSIE !

you know i love you to bits and pieces

and shreds and strips

then i'll glue you back whole again (:

another year of not being there..(pipizz)

have a jolly good and safe one

(careful with the lexus and zebra crossings)
Y you alwayssss.

she is a cheerleader
i'm sitting at the stands

last day at school was :D :D :D :D
piccas ll be up when nette does her job AHEM HOPEFULLY BY THIS YEAR WOULD BE NICE
(kidding, lovelove (not really -stares daggers (ok but since you've been on my side, -pats pal)))
(too many parenthesises.)

despite endless caterwauling..
yes sa is lovable..regardless of location @Malan/ @PP
each had their very own memorable episodes (or climbing gates and SPORTYDAZE!)


-

what they said spawned this trail of thought and i'm beginning to think i was wrong about you.

._.

beware! the saint patriotism has taken over us by storm. do not catch the bug! being tagged would result in insane desire to reach school ON TIME to sing the school song for the last time (nevermind the fact we've never so much as hummed the song, much less know the lyrics), buy school foolscap paper, gorge school food and fly kite around the track.

WHO KNEW.

days ago we had HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BELLETANLIPING :D



sanity at 8teen indeed, eating flowers




Dinah's cam has bore this animosity against us since we were innocent Secondary 3 St. Nicholas Girls..


yesterday was Happy Children's Day
today is Hello One Month to A Level's Omg.

gentle reminder to how we're no longer kids..





& littlemisssunshine deserves a hundred and one popcornsss!
life is a fucking beauty contest.
life is also (: phonecalls, 5 girls i can't live without, forum and smu.

-

YOU GOT IT WRONG ALL ALONG
stopppp this atrocity!!

life is never fair is it..

dear Santa
i promise to be really good, sitting still and waiting.
please send me all my xxxxx s cascading down the chimney this december..
(and make them last.)

i'm falling in you're falling out

so nette and i bought TWO bags each for 90bucks! right?
just a lil harmless self deceit.


take me away

had always secretly harnessed longings to be packed into a bag and hide away in times of need.. just to feel safe for a while..
yea i know i'm a tad weird.

-

on replay; Displaced, Azure Ray.

-

yay, Meredith moved on
like, finally!

whitewashed.

finally caught up with my sleepppp
eyebags were ghastly and weighing down my sight and the world along with it
ohkay hyperbole.

-

weds @ phuture..
initial boredom
to fab drinks + fab music = outofstate highness = dancing like a 'filmsy' nut.
to supreme sleepiness after all that euphoria and psychedupstate and falling all over the place (secretly~~ falling apart -smashing pumpkins HAHA)
shouldve gone to find sammiekinss/ mambo for more sanity.

butttt
THANKS NETTEY PALSXZz AND PEARLLL..
reallyreally.
HUIYI DON'T TALK TO ME (kidding. pls brush up braiding skills <3 you nonetheless)



-

shoppingg w stephcheong's DA BOMB!
(: (say goodbye to gullible days)

dadeedoo+dinah : yess so jln kayu-ing or??

AND
EXCITING EIGHTEEN REE Y
im sorry about last night.. ._.
(yes i insist your fave colour is still purple)

-

sch's a blurr.
f-tupstate cannot be contained anymore
i hate my grades and myself
it's just hopeless pointless meaningless empty void
but still,
hit the books, wendy.
nomoretears johnson&johnson, yz?

Her favorite flower is daffodils

(newly won over Tim Burton fan)
i loved Big Fish for its inversions

factual and imaginative (there's truth in imagination..so there!)
tickling and heartwarming (yes, teary..)
beautiful and ugly
..


all spinning an entire web of morals unfolding bit by bit
i think its worth every single one of its nominations.. and more!
(:

or maybe its just really my kind of story.

p.s Josephine (played by Jessica Lange) and Sandra (Alison Lohman) are the luckiest girls in the world..

Josephine: You never told me how your parents met.
Will Bloom: They met at Auburn.
Josephine: But what about the details? How they fell in love. The cirus, the war - you never told me any of that.
Will Bloom: That's because most of it never happened.
Josephine: But it's romantic.
Will Bloom: Mmm...
Josephine: Mmm, what?
Will Bloom: Well, I know better than to argue romance with a French woman.

Senior Ed Bloom: You are in for a surprise.
Will Bloom: Am I?
Senior Ed Bloom: Havin' a kid changes everything. There's burping, the midnight feeding, and the changing.
Will Bloom: You do any of that?
Senior Ed Bloom: No But I hear it's terrible. Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill his head with nonsense, and still it turns out perfectly fine.
Will Bloom: You think I'm up for it?
Senior Ed Bloom: You learned from the best.

Will Bloom: We have to take Glenville to avoid the church traffic because the damn church people drive too slow.

Josephine: I'd like to take your picture.
Senior Ed Bloom: Oh, you don't need a picture. Just look up "handsome" in the dictionary.

Young Ed Bloom: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're not too big? That maybe this place is just too small?

Young Ed Bloom: There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they're faster or stronger than other fish. They're just touched by something extra.

Young Ed Bloom: There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool.

Young Ed Bloom: It was that night I discovered that most things you consider evil or wicked are simply lonely, and lacking in the social niceties.

Sandra Bloom: You don't even know me.
Young Ed Bloom: I have the rest of my life to find out.

Ed Bloom (Age 10): I was thinking about death and all. About seeing how you're gonna die. I mean, on one hand, if dying was all you thought about, it could kind of screw you up. But it could kind of help you, couldn't it? Because you'd know that everything else you can survive.



righto..enough quotes to flood the post. am off. hope tonight will be fun!

-


the epitome of change..
never anymore.